The menstruation thing bothers me. Sure I don't want to go around telling everyone I know, but for fuck's sake, there's nothing wrong with me. It's human. It's a thing that happens. Every month.
I hate this stereotype that we need to be pampered and given chocolate and cuddles. Those things are welcome at all times of the month, I don't need more of those on my period, and infantilizing me during a monthly occurence does not make me love you more, sorry. If I'm say, 25, I've gone through this like 150 times, even with the worst of cramps, like I've been here before, I dont want to be bothered or babied.
EDIT: That's not to say i'm a cold-hearted person, if you want to rub my feet or my back during the rest of my life at times when i need it that'd be really loving, but to treat me like a cripple five days a month or an emotionally compromised bomb, is really insulting. There can't possible be women who are proud of being treated like absolute children during this time of the month.
Fair enough! Who am I to argue with your experience?
I find anything sugary makes it worse for me, so I just avoid sugar and grains during my period. try being the operative world. If my feelies are crying for haribo peachy gummy things, the feelies are getting haribo peachy gummy things.
Oh man do I know what you mean. I was in the candy aisle for five minutes yesterday trying to decide what my body needed. My boyfriend once asked me
"Why pistachios"
"I saw a shell on the sidewalk...and then I wanted them... and now I won't stop thinking about them until I eat them."
"Why Pizza"
"Some one reheated some at work... also pizza"
Right now I really want Wendy's because I was re-watching UnBreakable Kimmy Schmidt and they call her "Wendy's original Hamburger" and basically I will want Wendy's until I get Wendy's.
I want a magic cookie bar. Just saw a picture of one on Facebook, thing is I rarely eat them and they are far too rich ha ha. But goddamn I want to make them!
Yeah I agree with the chocolate and pampered thing. Like, is it really that necessary to have a binge period like that where the common conception is that you should eat lots of junk food to make you feel better and just lie around 24/7 for an entire week every month? I'm a girl who's had severe cramps her entire life and I hate this because it implies that women are not capable of much (especially working or going to school, which is more pertinent in third world countries) during their period. When I was younger I used my period as an excuse to be lazy and do no schoolwork and eat too much junk food because I thought that was what would make me feel better. It didn't, and it damaged my health and put me behind in school.
Of course, it's great to relax a little during that time, and of course if you have severe cramps do whatever necessary for that. But for a large majority of women it's not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, and doing this just adds to the stereotype of the incapacitated woman on her period. I mean, it's gonna happen for 1/4 of our pre-menopausal lives, basically. Putting a hold on 1/4 of my life and letting shit fly isn't helping me.
Isn't it also entirely possible that experiences vary, even with cramps? People experience pain differently, having different thresholds, and cramps will have different characteristics in different people. Just because yours were painful yet manageable and you used them as an excuse doesn't mean that everyone's is, and sometimes the hormones do get fucky with your emotions and logic. It doesn't mean you can't be a useful member of society, but I'd hesitate to call it entirely made up either. Personally, I don't get the cramps 99% of the time, but I do get one day where I feel incredibly energetic and happy, followed by a day where I get the dubious pleasure of suicidal ideation for a whole day. If I have to comfort eat to counteract the self harm impulses, I'll take it, even though pampering sounds distasteful.
That said, where I'm from it's always been the recommendation to do some physical activity to counteract the cramps. Of course, if you're a heavy bleeder, have debilitating cramps, and get the fucky brain logic to boot, that's not gonna sound like a very appealing option.
I mean, ideally people would finally get it into their heads that women are individuals and there is no one true truth for half the world's population, so that women who don't want children/a family or have menstruation issues don't have to get treated like those who do, but evidently that's too much to ask for.
Don't be infantalizing, but if someone knows that you are generally going to be in pain, tired, and maybe a little less perky than usual, I don't think it's bad or sexist or wrong to show up with chocolate, acknowledge with some sympathy, etc. As long as it's not done in a patronizing manner
Oh I 100% agree. Some of us aren't a raging mess on our periods and I resent being treated like that without cause. VERY different than me pouting to my partner that i'm feeling terrible and sore, and then he goes out and gets something to make me feel better. In a reversed situation, I'd rush to the store for him as well. But it's the "oh it's THAT time of the month.. better tip-toe around the she-beast" mentality that I'd love to do away with.
Conversely though, there are some girls who seem to love talking about it and asking questions. Like, I'm all for not pretending it doesn't exist, but let's treat it like all other bodily functions and realize no one wants details. It's not bonding, it's not lunchroom talk (seriously), and its not something that makes me feel like talking to you again.
You probably don't go out of your way to tell people with IBS how gross they are though. Some people seem to think that's ok for women who have periods. There's a pretty good example in one of the replies to my post.
Well, everyone shits but that doesn't mean everyone wants to discuss the big goopy diarrhea you had the other night. It's still an awkward subject for people even if they understand it's not anything especially strange.
I'm ok with not talking about it, too. Totally makes sense. I just don't want guys telling me out of the blue that I'm gross if I've not brought it up (because I don't). Every body is gross. Don't need to be told that mine is gross just because my gross thing is different from your gross thing.
It's normal, it's natural, but it's still gross. Sorry. I'm a guy, so maybe that contributes a big part of it. I wouldn't consider it a taboo in any way, I just don't want to talk about it.
I'm totally cool with that, not wanting to talk about it. I think ejaculation is gross (lesbian as can be), but I don't tell my friends who do it that its gross out of the blue. Sometimes that seems to happen with menstruation as a topic, and it just isn't a nice thing to hear.
Totally, because I care about what happens in 100 years.
At least at the end of the day, I go home to people who love and care about me. If I didn't, I'd probably come up with some bullshit excuse to pretend I didn't care either. Makes it sting less, doesn't it?
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u/funkybutts Jul 13 '15
The menstruation thing bothers me. Sure I don't want to go around telling everyone I know, but for fuck's sake, there's nothing wrong with me. It's human. It's a thing that happens. Every month.