r/AskReddit Jul 13 '15

What socially unacceptable things are you OK with?

8.4k Upvotes

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.3k

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15 edited Dec 15 '20

[deleted]

1.2k

u/DamnitDiego Jul 13 '15

I used to think people would judge me so I wouldn't do it, until one day I watched a 60+ year-old feller do it with no fucks given. I felt so inspired that I do it too now with no fucks given

756

u/roth403b Jul 14 '15 edited Jul 14 '15

My favorite walmart story: I'm in my 20s. I ride the cart down the aisles, especially when empty (edit: the aisles, not my cart). I'm heading down the frozen aisle looking for pizza or something, ridding along at high speed to get to the other side.

At the end of the aisle comes a cart barreling around the corner. An older 60-70 year old man is ridding his cart at a good speed, and we both ride past the other cart having a stare down as we cross in opposite directions. After that moment, as the carts keep on wheeling down, we both give a couple more kicks to gain speed. I get to the pizza section, he disappears around the corner. Never to meet on the racing track again.

33

u/FigMcLargeHuge Jul 14 '15

Sure it wasn't future you?

11

u/kickingpplisfun Jul 14 '15

By staring himself down, he has doomed us all. Never make direct contact with future/past you.

3

u/supertoaster_42 Jul 14 '15

Kill your double

2

u/Skexer Jul 14 '15

Killer opening for a story there... /r/writingprompts

116

u/Samp98518 Jul 14 '15

A perfect description of the unspoken bond between all men.

13

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

[deleted]

3

u/Thunder_Nipples Jul 14 '15

Fucking love this song

7

u/190F1B44 Jul 14 '15

A beautiful moment.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

My favorite Walmart story: Wife and I shopping, I head down one aisle to grab some deodorant while she heads down the next to grab some conditioner or something. I hear this huge crash. I come around to look and the cart is on its side, contents spilled all over and the wife is sprawled out on the floor next to it.

She was riding and tipped it over backwards.

Sadly, not a single person was around to witness it.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I like that you have a favorite Walmart story.

1

u/pingo5 Jul 14 '15

I'm a walmart employee. I ride tbe stocking carts around tbe back all the time. I can't help it.

1

u/skinnedrevenant Jul 14 '15

He's going the distance...

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '15

He's going for speed..

20

u/RikaMX Jul 14 '15

I think I needed this, I will do it next time.

14

u/Cessoe Jul 14 '15

Sometimes I do it in the store if the aisle is empty I'll just give a little push and coast for a bit. It makes grocery shopping more entertaining

8

u/beniceorbevice Jul 14 '15

That's the only way to get around Wal-Mart and their half mile long stores

5

u/WhiteMeth Jul 14 '15

I have severe ADHD and I do this every time. I am very skilled at it..

2

u/musictomyomelette Jul 14 '15

Tell us your ways

6

u/HiimCaysE Jul 14 '15

I still do it on occasion, too. Fuck social expectations!

11

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

[deleted]

7

u/photojosh Jul 14 '15

I do this with my kids in it. My wife AND the store employees frown at me.

4

u/Naknaknaknaknaknak Jul 14 '15

I'd do it right along you and I AM a store employee.

3

u/frozenGrizzly Jul 14 '15

I loved doing that as a kid, but stopped when I got too old for it to be cool, and was worried people would judge me.

Lately I've been trying to push my comfort zone a lot for personal growth, and after putting my groceries in my car I felt a strong urge to ride the cart back to the cart storage thing. Instantly the little voice in my head was telling me not to do it, that you're too old for this shit and people will stare.

I told that little fucker idgaf and rode that bitch all the way across the parking lot. So worth it.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

We do it at work for fun

2

u/soberbrewer Jul 14 '15

You must have seen my dad.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

2

u/Redditarama Jul 14 '15

Ha! They gave a fuck about sentence structure! That is so funny.

1

u/susupseudonym Jul 14 '15

Let people stare at our much more efficient mode of transportation.

1

u/minumoto Jul 14 '15

I might have seen the same guy. I was also inspired.

1

u/tothebeat Jul 14 '15

I'm 55. I still do it (but only when I think no one is watching).

1

u/s8rtRazrShowerShavin Jul 14 '15

Think you may have been in a scene of Bad Grandpa?

1

u/Blacksin01 Jul 14 '15

I'm convinced. I'm doing this from now on

1

u/veyizmir Jul 14 '15

The Costco parking lot in San Francisco was made for this. Two ramps in a row. You should definitely visit.

1

u/ElGringoMojado Jul 14 '15

I'm 60 and I do this. I'll probably die this way at the age of 110.

1

u/DarkSideofOZ Jul 14 '15

I'm in my 30's and do it every chance I get.

1

u/pmyourcoffee Jul 14 '15

I do it in the store... It's about the only thing I find enjoyable when shopping. If only I had those shoes with the wheels on them :)

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

My 60 year old mother does it every time I'm ever leaving a grocery store with her. It makes me see the young version of her come out and bring much joy in my life.

1

u/Watson726 Jul 14 '15

I push carts at a grocery store, and there is this one older guy who does thks everytime he's done. It's hilarious, you guys are a dying breed unfortunatly though 😪

1

u/RemoveScrotum Jul 14 '15

test. did my other comment go through? fuck reddit mobile.

1

u/JustVern Jul 14 '15

I'm a nearly 50 year old female and I do this on the regular and squeal WHEEEE!

I'm not crazy, I'm retired, and I don't give a gosh darn!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! hahaha!

Edit: I also throw a leg up behind me. Wot?!?

0

u/RemoveScrotum Jul 14 '15

awsome. im an able bodied man and I often use those motorized carts intended for the elderly/disabled/fat people. I often get yelled at it though. especially if I wear a helmet and cape, or if I hop off and make a mad dash to my car on foot.

I've had a few bad crashes in my days. one time I crashed into an isle of tomato sauce jars. I swear, the whole thing happened in slow motion. some old fuck cut me off. me "get the fuck out of the waaaaayyyy". I swerved right and headed straight into the Francisco Rinaldi at 1.5 mph.

The asshole manager told me to get out of the store. I was there to pick up my daughter who works there in the photo lab. So I had to wait outside in my car with my engine running. My car is a piece of shit and spues thick black exhaust. I just sat there and laughed as my smoke went into the store and everyone started chocking and colapsing.

haha

fuck you.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15 edited Jul 14 '15

I do it in suit/tie after work like wheeee bitch I got that BOGO$WAG

EDUT: I'm being diwnvoted by SRS bc I almost murdered their leader at meet up Fri night .

0

u/ih-unh-unh Jul 14 '15

Please don't tell me you saw it at a Costco in southern California.

...because I'm not 60 yet and do it all the time. Especially with a full basket--I get more speed

7

u/KoveltSkiis Jul 13 '15

RIP Childhood

0

u/HiimCaysE Jul 14 '15

Even today's kids. They all have their faces buried in phones.

8

u/TomBradysmom Jul 14 '15

I am not sure if the weird looks come from the fact that I am riding the cart out the store or that I am 6'5''...

3

u/just_dots Jul 14 '15

Fuck them, I'm 36 with a head full of gray hair. I pick up terminal velocity coming out of the store, steer by dragging my foot on the ground and hanging off the side (and I'm good at it, like I can fucking slalom) and whenever there's room I slide into parallel park next to the truck.
I swear that crack-heads begging on the side of the street don't get the dirty looks that mothers with kids give me.
That's usually when I lean over the handle bar and do Matt Hoffman's "Condor" trick while popping the front wheels off the ground...
Fuck 'em all, nobody's gonna harsh my mellow!

6

u/Amosqu Jul 13 '15

I mostly do it inside the store, at least if something hits you it doesn't kill you.

Who knows, maybe people are starting to care more about what other people think of them.

11

u/millarke Jul 14 '15

I use my shoes to brake the wheels in order to make turns and slow to a stop. Like I'm basically semi-pro.

2

u/Funkslinger Jul 14 '15

Oh shit! I do this too. People need to get on our level so we can all bring back the Professional Circuit

1

u/macaulaymcculkin1 Jul 14 '15

hmm, interesting technique. ill have to try this out next time.

i usually just hop off.

1

u/Burning_Kobun Jul 14 '15

shoe brake turning master race.

1

u/Amosqu Jul 14 '15

The Aryan shoe brakers.

1

u/Amosqu Jul 14 '15

I just let the cart go until it stops naturally, since I haven't found a way to keep the weight in the front yet and that would probably flip the cart over completely.

5

u/Bigcat710 Jul 14 '15

I'm a cart pusher at a large retail chain, after we close and the parking lot is empty it's a free for all. Ride until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death...

4

u/Skuloiet Jul 14 '15

As someone who pushes carts at Walmart, I see people riding carts on a daily basis. Makes me jealous that I'm not allowed to do it while I work.

3

u/_SnesGuy Jul 14 '15

I don't even see kids doing it anymore. Every once in a while I think "Fuck it, I'm a grown ass man now. If I want to ride the shopping cart to my Toyota I will"

Que 26yo man of 6'4 riding shopping cart with angry expression

2

u/Roarlord Jul 14 '15

/u/roarlord reporting for duty! I will keep the tradition alive and pass it on to my son!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

i do this til my death goddamnit

2

u/OrnateFreak Jul 14 '15

Come shopping with me and we'll race to the car!

2

u/johnty123 Jul 14 '15

in case you guys haven't seen this: a documentary shot mostly around north vancouver about hobo cart racers.

2

u/vicarofyanks Jul 14 '15

Have hope, we're out there

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

56 and I still ride a shopping cart like boss.

2

u/Abepoppin Jul 14 '15

I am a shopping cart rider.

2

u/locaos Jul 14 '15

One of us!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

take comfort in the fact that my s/o does this in every. single. parking. lot.

I'm usually wearing heels, so I hang back and let him coast all the groceries to the car and start loading them in while I casually - and carefully - stroll through the lot. By the time I get to the car he's already bagged most of the shit so I can just get in and go home.

everyone wins.

1

u/HerrKRAKEN Jul 14 '15

Join me, brother.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

"You have my sword."

1

u/daltonian5 Jul 14 '15

I still do this in the store, honestly.

Long as I have a free aisle. Or a little room at all.

1

u/issius Jul 14 '15

I'm an adult now and I still do it.

1

u/fonz2 Jul 14 '15

I'm a cart attendant at target. We have a machines that pushed a row of 20 carts, I sit on the front one. Fuck walking.

1

u/Krono5_8666V8 Jul 14 '15

Ironically, I'm usually too heavy for the weight of the food in my cart to keep it from flipping back onto me. I will however, take every opportunity to ride things with wheels like road cases (which are a regular occurance in my line of work)

1

u/swiftimundo Jul 14 '15

Hell, I do it in the store!

1

u/MrFinchley Jul 14 '15

I'm in my 40s. I do this every time I shop. My kids love it.

1

u/LeDrVelociraptor Jul 14 '15

I work at ikea, and I regularly see even older folks doing it. It makes me smile from time to time.

1

u/Burning_Kobun Jul 14 '15

I work at a grocery store and I ride shopping carts/u-boats/the other smaller not shopping carts as much as possible. some of the smaller carts have u-boat style wheels (fixed in the middle and castors on the ends) which result in some crazy physics when riding. when I'm a customer on my way out, I run full speed into the parking lot on my way, jump on, and see how far I can go.

1

u/Truckusmode Jul 14 '15

It's especially excellent when your Cart is full enough that it's weighted down. Then you can really get some speed and distance.

Otherwise you're popping wheelies or falling on your ass.

1

u/IsaidBAM Jul 14 '15

I used to be the guy that put all the carts away at huge stores. Best rides of my life.

1

u/prozacgod Jul 14 '15

OMG I park in the back of the lot for 2 reasons, my damn TA's car door are huge, and the parking lot at wal-mart is on a down hill slope... ROLL FOR DAYSS

Ever learn how to brake steer rubbing your feet on the wheels? I'm ready to take on Pikes Peak!

1

u/TheDaveWSC Jul 14 '15

Well as a rule you can only really do it when the items in the cart weigh enough to counter you, so maybe that's a limiting factor as well.

1

u/HairBrian Jul 14 '15

I'm a grown man who has kids nearly as tall as me and the cart is heavy. If the slope is there and the coast is clear, game on. I'm all Tony Hawk with that bitch. A legend of the parking lot in the making here.

1

u/sonfold_hero Jul 14 '15

I'm almost 40 and I still do it. I can't help it.

Sometimes these days I put my kids in the basket if we only got a few things and I push them as fast as I can run. It's as safe as anything else we do (bumper cars, bumper boats, riding bikes), and they fucking love it and laugh like crazy people.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I just saw a lady do it last week. My mom does it every trip and she's 57.

1

u/YOUR_FACE1 Jul 14 '15

You're probably going extinct due to the rise of the much more powerful and equally careless car.

1

u/Brosephus_Rex Jul 14 '15

I still do it because I refuse to die and become a "grown up"

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

It's true, so few people do this nowadays. I push carts at a busy grocery store and I only see a couple people do this per shift. Interesting enough I've noticed that most of the people that do are either less than 20 years old or more than 50.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

In college this was my preferred method of departing the grocery store.

Now I live in a place where there's an enormous chance that somebody I work with will recognize me and call me out for being unprofessional in public.

1

u/nataleeyuhh Jul 14 '15

Saw a 30 year old dude doing it outside a Walmart. Looked like he was having the time of his life

1

u/Antarcaticaschwea Jul 14 '15

My girlfriend loses her shit every time I do it. Which is every time we go to the store.

1

u/benchmillions Jul 14 '15

28yo, did it two days ago. Stay strong cart rider.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I do this with my three kids hanging onto the basket. I get dirty looks as I'm racing down the parking lot with 3 kids screaming, "Faster, dad! Faster!".

It is fun ...

1

u/Dragynwing Jul 14 '15

I'm 34 and I do this all the time. I am also known to skip on occasion. I'm a happy little fucker and it shows.

1

u/SaigonNoseBiter Jul 14 '15

im 30 and i do this every time....no fucks given

1

u/octopoddle Jul 14 '15

Extra points for "KING OF THE WORLD!"

1

u/kilkil Jul 14 '15

We're a dying race.

Bitch, we're going to be on Mars in a few generations. Don't give that "we're hopelessly doomed" crap.

Still though, you're right. We need stuff like this.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I mean the race of KartRiderz

1

u/kilkil Jul 14 '15

Ah. Yes. You are eventually going to face your extinction. It's all that climate change messing with the environment.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I guess you don't go to winco foods in the middle of the night.

1

u/BloodBride Jul 14 '15

I'm too busy scooting around inside the store on my cart.
It's faster.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

This is why I love reddit.

1

u/RepostResearch Jul 14 '15

I witnessed an older couple (probably in their 70's) racing their carts down the parking lot at Walmart, giggling like little kids the whole way. Really made me happy for the rest of the night.

1

u/JustAsLost Jul 17 '15

I do it in store

1

u/strider_sifurowuh Jul 17 '15

I do it until I hit a bump and pop a cart wheely, almost crushing myself under the cart. Then I serious the fuck up and walk like an adult, blushing and hoping nobody saw.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Of course. I go to the grocery store right after work so I don't have to make 2 trips. People get to see me in my security uniform zoom past them.