r/AskReddit Jul 13 '15

What socially unacceptable things are you OK with?

8.4k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/Shadowex3 Jul 13 '15

I'm jewish... we can't do this. We do the opposite, we say goodbye without actually leaving.

2.2k

u/tenehemia Jul 13 '15

I'm Jewish and Minnesotan. I think I'm still technically attending a Seder from 1997.

53

u/MC5EVP Jul 14 '15

I'm Minnesotan too. "The Minnesota a goodbye" is horrible.

41

u/IAmA_Lannister Jul 14 '15

Walk outside of restaurant with relatives, everybody says goodbye to each other, proceed to converse for the next 45 minutes.

27

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Holy crap, is this just a Minnesota thing!? Lived here my whole life, thought it happened everywhere

34

u/IAmA_Lannister Jul 14 '15

To be fair, everything is a "Minnesotan thing" to a Minnesotan.

19

u/norskie7 Jul 14 '15

Well, it's just a Minnesotan thing, don't ya know?

2

u/OdoyleStillRules Jul 14 '15

Oh yah, off course.

2

u/NecroJoe Jul 14 '15

We have something close in Wisconsin. The "women" will say they are ready to hit the road, and the guys will stand in the kitchen, leaning against the counters, chatting. The men think that they are waiting for the women, and are ready to go because they are standing and can stop their conversation at any moment...and the women think that, because the men are still talking and haven't said "good bye" to each other, that they are not yet ready to leave.

10

u/goombalover13 Jul 14 '15 edited Jul 14 '15

That's cause they have so many damn quirks. They are the only people who still think crocs are in style, they say duck duck gray duck instead of duck duck goose, and they call them hot dishes, not casseroles. Minnesotans are weird.

Edit: apparently crocs are not in style. My sources must be wrong. Or they are worn ironically.

14

u/mckillgore Jul 14 '15

wait, it's just us that says duck duck gray duck? I'm gonna need to lie down and take this in for a moment

1

u/ganlet20 Jul 14 '15

It sounds like your the only ones to do a lot of things.

Then again where I'm from we put fries in our burritos but it's pretty badass.

11

u/IAmA_Lannister Jul 14 '15

Yeah lived here my whole life and I completely agree with you. Although I have to disagree with the crocs statement. We'll make fun of you for wearing crocs here.

3

u/goombalover13 Jul 14 '15

Really? Last time I went there I saw dozens of girls wearing crocs and sundresses. Maybe it's the preppy minnesotans.

1

u/IAmA_Lannister Jul 14 '15

Where did you see that? I haven't seen anybody over the age of 10 or under the age of 45 wearing crocs in years.

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4

u/zooropa93 Jul 14 '15

As a Minnesotan, let me tell you why Duck Duck Gray Duck is better. It adds an aspect to the game where you can trick people. You can go around and say, "Duck, Duck, Duck, GREEN Duck" and then they have a moment of hesitation.

It sounds stupid but it makes the game so much better.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

[deleted]

1

u/Keegan320 Aug 08 '15

Native Minnesotan, I vaguely remember that being said when I was younger but I haven't heard it in years.

1

u/workaway5 Jul 14 '15

Crocs are definitely not in style up here, but the rest is accurate. Worth noting that we still say casserole, but hot dish is kind of its own subset of casseroles. Hot dish usually involves tater tots and a few other things.

1

u/goombalover13 Jul 14 '15

Definitely an Iowa thing as well.

2

u/readytofall Jul 14 '15

After living in both I have learned they both think random things are an Iowa thing or a Minnesota thing when both states say it. Such as Minnesota/Iowa nice.

1

u/Theoz Jul 14 '15

Hahaaa. This is hilarious. I just thought my relatives missed us and were talkative homey people.

27

u/woodchopperak Jul 14 '15

Minnesotan here. It's funny that sometimes you can be having awkward conversation the whole night, until its time to leave. Then you talk converse passionately in the doorway for another 45 minutes.

1

u/frogshateclocks Jul 14 '15

I'm starting to feel like some of the older generation waits to talk about what they want to talk about until you say 'I gotta go' just to keep you there a little longer.

16

u/shackelman_unchained Jul 14 '15

Minnesota upvote!

14

u/onken022 Jul 14 '15

The train is chugging.

3

u/frogstomp427 Jul 14 '15

Okay, I give. What's a "Minnesota Goodbye"?

1

u/MC5EVP Jul 14 '15

Sorry just got home from work. Everyone pretty much answered it.

38

u/HungNavySEAL300Kills Jul 14 '15

Mexicans show up to parties talking about how they can't stay

13

u/CaptainSnacks Jul 14 '15

TIL my Irish dad is actually Mexican

14

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Jew from Maine can confirm Canadian heritage and Jewish families makes for lots of goodbyes to the same people...

Pretty sure I'm still at my bar mitzvah...

13

u/waddupworld Jul 14 '15

My cousin got married last week, hopefully I'll get to leave the hotel sometime soon

22

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/jseego Jul 14 '15

Sounds like a really nice evening actually

9

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Minnesotans are awful about this. It takes my parents like 30 minutes of saying bye before we actually leave.

4

u/maxtheterp Jul 14 '15

As a Jew now living in North Dakota, thank god my family isn't here. We'd never leave anywhere.

6

u/jingowatt Jul 14 '15

Now that is a Good Jewish Joke.

2

u/LastWordFreak Jul 14 '15

That shit ain't done unless someone hands over the afikomen.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

What's a Seder?

6

u/waddupworld Jul 14 '15

It's a traditional Jewish dinner that takes during the holiday known as Pesach, or Passover where we tell the story of how the Jews escaped from Egypt. It is also a holiday where people get together with families, hence the painfully long jewish goodbye

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Cool, so it's like when I have to go talk to my old AF family members at christmas?

3

u/waddupworld Jul 14 '15

seems similar, but I really cant exaggerate this enough, jewish goodbyes take FOREVER. like, goodbyes for jews means you go and have a final conversation with everyone there, where you say everything you had been hoping to say in a one on one conversation. This repeats with EVERYONE THERE.

1

u/snatchchat1 Jul 14 '15

Seder

TIL Seder!

1

u/Crazylittleloon Jul 14 '15

Do you need rescuing?

1

u/SwiggitySwagKerman Jul 14 '15

There are Jews in Minnesota?

2

u/tenehemia Jul 14 '15

Quite a few, actually! Minnesota is about 1% Jewish, which is actually pretty significant, all things considered.

1

u/upvotersfortruth Jul 14 '15

So you're Jewtheran?

1

u/-Tesserex- Jul 14 '15

Same, Jewish with Minnesotan parents. This is exactly how it feels. You need to start your goodbyes about 10 minutes in if you only plan on staying 4 hours. But then they all start singing and you're there until 2 am.

1

u/Radeon3 Jul 14 '15

There are jews way out yonder?!

2

u/tenehemia Jul 14 '15

The Coen brothers, Al Franken and my dad - all Jews - all grew up in the same predominantly Jewish town in Minnesota!

1

u/Theoz Jul 14 '15

Hahaaa. This is hilarious. I just thought my relatives missed us and were talkative homey people.

687

u/jtg10795 Jul 13 '15

The struggle of trying to leave a bar mitzvah:

Jewish mother: "I just need to start saying quick goodbyes"

(Two hours later)

Jewish mother: "just a few more people"

(Music stops, party getting cleaned up)

Jewish mother: "oh look they said we can take one of the center pieces. Let's just go talk to them about the party and how much fun they had"

19

u/jkortech Jul 13 '15

My family is always one of the last people to leave temple after services. There have been a few times we've walked out with the rabbi.

21

u/dragontail Jul 13 '15

We get it, your life is awesome. Geez.

6

u/smallcat25 Jul 14 '15

My mom is good friends with the temple maintenance guy, so sometimes we end up walking out with him like 45 mins after the rabbi has locked up. It's a problem.

3

u/AluminiumSandworm Jul 14 '15

And here I thought mum staying after church to talk to her friends for 20 minutes was bad.

2

u/seewolfmdk Jul 13 '15

The rabbi stays during a Bar Mitzvah?

6

u/jkortech Jul 14 '15

I'm Reform, so yeah.

8

u/seewolfmdk Jul 14 '15

Ah. I have not much knowledge about Jewish customs. In Germany we don't have many jews....

5

u/jkortech Jul 14 '15

Yeah... From what I've heard though Jewish life in Germany is pretty good nowadays in comparison to the rest of Europe.

-2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Yeah I heard something happened over there 70 - something years ago that caused their population to go down :/

1

u/erddad890765 Jul 14 '15

Is anybody gonna tell her?

4

u/MyPassword_IsPizza Jul 14 '15

Not a bar mitzvah but I experienced this for the first time going to a friends house the other day and his whole family was over. Literally spent half the time leaving. They were crazy. Crazy awesome.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Have a Jewish mother: can confirm this will happen...

The party isn't over until someone has taken the ice sculpture home to keep for their nephews wedding next year.

3

u/jtg10795 Jul 14 '15

We have multiple family member's/friend's centerpieces decorating our basement. I am not kidding.

1

u/la_bibliothecaire Jul 15 '15

My boyfriend and I have a centrepiece from his cousin's wedding on a side table in our living room. His mother took like three of them, gave one to us, one to his sister, and kept one for herself. Not being Jewish myself, I did not know that this was a Jewish mom thing. I understand now.

5

u/shewrites Jul 14 '15

TIL my mother is Jewish. I had my suspicions (guilt trips), but it's crystal-clear now.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

My friend invited me to her cousin's bar mitzvah and I got so drunk I collapsed down the stairs, hit my head and blacked out. So I didn't have to say goodbye to anyone.

3

u/jtg10795 Jul 14 '15

This past May I went to my cousin's bat mitzvah, the first one I went to as an "adult."

Holy shit, I did not realize how important the open bar really is.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Whenever I'm at an open bar, it's like I'm expecting them to close it any minute. I'm like "I'll have a gin and tonic... No a double... No I mean three double gin and tonics, and a beer." Next thing you know...

3

u/jtg10795 Jul 14 '15

I was at my camp friend's mom's bat mitzvah about a month ago (yes, that might be the most Jewish thing you've ever heard).

I woke up on an air mattress in my camp friend's room next to a pile of vomit.

3

u/kat_loves_tea Jul 14 '15 edited Jul 14 '15

Your friend's mom had a bat mitzvah celebrating her turning 12 and entering accountable adult life?

Edit: TIL adults can also have bar/bat mitzvahs. Thanks, Google.

7

u/heethar Jul 13 '15

I haven't laughed so hard in months (depression is a bitch, yo). Thank you for this comment!

6

u/erddad890765 Jul 14 '15

May you always roll 20 on your Wisdom (Insight) checks to remember why life is worth living!

1

u/jtg10795 Jul 14 '15

I'm so glad I could bring you some joy! Hang in there, and just remember, you're at least not stuck in the purgatory of not being able to enjoy a party because you're "in the process of leaving" :)

2

u/Bellyzard2 Jul 13 '15

Way too true ;_;

2

u/hoodie92 Jul 14 '15

This is incredibly accurate.

1

u/Chkouttheview Jul 14 '15

And how much the party cost

1

u/jtg10795 Jul 14 '15

Not necessary, you can usually just estimate that it was between $50,000-$100,000.

Though that estimation can be based on them pointing out the quality of the food, venue, games, DJ, cake, etc. so...

7

u/justkilledaman Jul 13 '15

My family is both Persian and Jewish. We start saying goodbye at least 2 hours before we intend to leave. Sometimes a simple Shabbat dinner can drag on until 3 am because of these formalities

18

u/KabukiBaconBrulee Jul 13 '15

I've been to many a Jewish party. Your people know how to eat and have fun to the point that I don't want to go!

56

u/Shadowex3 Jul 13 '15

Pretty much all of our holidays boil down to "they tried to kill us, we won, lets eat" so we get a lot of practice.

31

u/bkrags Jul 13 '15

Except for Purim. That one is "they tried to kill us, we won, lets drink"

36

u/Shadowex3 Jul 13 '15

"They tried to kill us, we won, let's get drunk and eat pastries shaped like the bad guy's hat."

13

u/bkrags Jul 13 '15

best holiday

-6

u/Zrk2 Jul 13 '15

I kinda want to be jewish now. Because of this, but also the running the world.

2

u/Obligatius Jul 13 '15

Goddamn, reddit is not having a sense of humor this afternoon. Well, I thought you were hilarious.

2

u/Zrk2 Jul 13 '15

I thought askreddit liked edgy humour. Huh.

2

u/prototypetolyfe Jul 13 '15

He knows too much. Take him out

2

u/JazzinZerg Jul 13 '15

OY VEY! Ze goyim, zey know!

3

u/KabukiBaconBrulee Jul 13 '15

My hazy recollection of Purim is that you drink like there's no tomorrow

3

u/Peoples_Bropublic Jul 14 '15

hazy recollection of Purim

No, no. That's pretty much it right there.

3

u/carBoard Jul 13 '15

I've been told that for Purim you're suppose to get drunk to the point of not being able to tell the difference between your wife and your mom or something like that.... Idk where it originated from but a few people have told me that.

14

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

Drink until you can no longer distinguish between "blessed be Mordechai" and "cursed be Haman". Mordechai being the good guy, Haman being a POS.

5

u/DontPromoteIgnorance Jul 13 '15

I see you haven't been to a seder with my family.

1

u/LaxCrosse007 Jul 14 '15

Is this a more obscure Jewish holiday? My wife's family is Jewish and I've never heard of it. They also don't drink so maybe they just choose to ignore it.

1

u/bkrags Jul 14 '15

Not really obscure. They definitely teach it to kids in Hebrew school. Kids dress in costume and it's the one with the triangle cookies with fruit filling called Hamentashen.

Celebration is often a community thing. You go to temple and they read the story of Purim and people celebrate. I don't think I've heard of many people celebrating it at home like Passover or Hannukah. And it's not one of the High Holidays like Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashannah, where you HAVE to go to temple. But I bet if you asked your wife about it, she's heard of it.

1

u/Imborednow Jul 14 '15

Drink until you no longer know the difference between "Cursed is Hamen" and "Blessed is Mordechai". AKA, 'till you're as drunk as possible without death.

26

u/KabukiBaconBrulee Jul 13 '15

Maybe that's why I always feel so welcome at the table. "Oh you aren't here to try to murder us? Well sit down and enjoy!"

Also, I learned quickly that there is no arguing with a Jewish mom that wants you to stay for dessert.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

"they tried to kill us, we won, lets eat"

"Won", or, "survived"?

I mean, I'll take either, but there's a distinction isn't there?

Though I guess most of the time (at least as far as the history of the Jewish people is concerned) merely surviving was winning...

3

u/theshmoo10 Jul 13 '15

This is my family. We say good bye, and 15 minutes later my mum, aunt and grandma are in her bedroom looking at the new top she just bought

5

u/the_Demongod Jul 13 '15

Yep, jewish family here too. Can confirm leaving takes an hour.

4

u/faceisamapoftheworld Jul 13 '15

The last Jewish wedding I went to consisted of two halves. The first two hours of saying hello to everyone there and then the last two hours of saying goodbye to everyone there. I'm pretty sure you could have plotted progress on a graph.

6

u/gemkid Jul 13 '15

Oh my god is that why my mom takes forever to leave.

3

u/eljayceeem Jul 13 '15

My father is Irish, my mother is Jewish. My father is constantly desperate to leave parties without saying goodbye and gets furious with my mother who does the typical Jewish never leaving a party thing. Not compatible.

1

u/GeekGroovy Jul 13 '15

As a member of the "tribe" I have to say I have mastered the quick goodbye from watching how the other half lives.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

I come from a Salvadoran family and it's the same with us. We say goodbye and a few hours later we're still in the same place (most likely eating).

1

u/fathertime979 Jul 13 '15

I as well have Jewish family. I sometimes think I'm the outcast because "fuck you I'm done I'm leaving bye." Meanwhile everyone and the ladies I've never met want to have a chat.

1

u/PowerWordCoffee Jul 13 '15

Italian families have a "Goodbye Tour". You can't just leave....

1

u/aredditgroupthinker Jul 13 '15

Can you give an example to clarify?

1

u/bert-rhodes Jul 13 '15

That's a Polish thing too! My mother-in-law says goodbye about 10 times for an hour before she actually leaves.

1

u/Mabiche Jul 13 '15

TIL my family is Jewish.

1

u/dubblywumps Jul 14 '15

Same thing with my mother's side of the family from Minnesota... saying goodbye leads to a new conversation, which leads to another conversation, which leads to forgetting you were leaving in the first place... sometimes you go through the process like three times before you're finally free.

1

u/firerosearien Jul 14 '15

Jewish. Can confirm.

1

u/tytanium Jul 14 '15

One of my favorite Mel Brooks/Carl Reiner jokes:

You have the French(or WASPs) who will leave and never say goodbye, and the Jews(or Italians) who will say goodbye, and never leave!

1

u/moeru_gumi Jul 14 '15

Can confirm. Have friends like this.

1

u/schnauzerapples Jul 14 '15

Persian Jew. When someone comes to the party, everyone has to stand up as they walk around and kiss each person on both cheeks. Same when you leave but not as strict. It's the most annoying ritual

1

u/anarcurt Jul 14 '15

TIL my wife is Jewish

1

u/SteampunkSamurai Jul 14 '15

Filipino parents are also guilty of this. My brother and I will be in the basement playing Halo with the other kids, then our parents will call down to us telling us it's time for us to leave. We'll answer that we'll be coming up, but we'll both know that we'll have time for at least two more games of team deathmatch before they finish wrapping up leftovers, yakking with their Navy buddies, and picking their shoes out of the sea of footwear in front of the door.

1

u/skunkpunk1 Jul 14 '15

Too true. There's a joke about this: the difference between Jewish and Irish people is that Irish people leave without saying goodbye, whereas Jews say goodbye but never leave.

1

u/YooHooShitHeads Jul 14 '15

Persians as well. You say goodbye. The host begs you to stay. You argue like this for a couple minutes. Then some other topic of conversation comes up, and you're there talking for another 45 minutes, but instead of sitting comfortably in the living room, you're standing by the front door.

1

u/CompletePlague Jul 14 '15

can confirm, am still attending Rosh Hashanah dinner.

1

u/kalfin2000 Jul 14 '15

This is so incredibly accurate. I laughed for awhile after reading it.

1

u/LotusCobra Jul 14 '15

my jewish mother is the epitome of this

1

u/smoha96 Jul 14 '15

I think this is prevalent among all ethnics. Happens to me and all my brown (subcontinental) friends, as well my Singaporean friend.

1

u/iamaquantumcomputer Jul 14 '15

Pakistani people do this too.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

So damn accurate. I was wondering when someone was going to bring this up, and then you brought it up as a trait of Jewish communities, and you're so right, and I never realized it.

My mother and father do this everywhere we go, and when I was younger I got pretty good at figuring out approximately how long I ACTUALLY had until we left, and how likely it was for them to get stuck in a conversation.

0

u/wackattackyo Jul 13 '15

sounds like people from Minnesota. We end up saying goodbye a dozen times before actually leaving