r/AskReddit Jul 13 '15

What socially unacceptable things are you OK with?

8.4k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/KabukiBaconBrulee Jul 13 '15

You guys need a code word(s). My SO and I tried "the look" and one of us always fails to notice. We now go into social situations with an emergency exit strategy.

230

u/bryan_sensei Jul 13 '15

If it's a small party then we always thank the host for the invite and offer to help clean up. But at a big event (wedding, etc) sometimes it's best just to bolt.

Our decision usually goes like this:

Me: IGB? (Irish Goodbye)

Wife: IGB (nods head)

We both exit the wedding/party. If we pass the host we thank them and tell them we're off, if not we just keep going.

12

u/hamfraigaar Jul 13 '15

Yeah telling the host goodbye is polite, but I don't see any reason to have to say goodbye to everyone, either. As a kid, I'd be forced to say goodbye to every single person, no matter if there were 8 or 80 of them. The ones I never even said hi to, too. My dad still gives me shit if I just book it at family events.

5

u/FullmentalFiction Jul 14 '15

I have an uncle that just ups and leaves at anything in a group larger than 5 people. Everyone in the family thought it was incredibly rude but I never really cared. Then again, when you go to a family reunion with 60+ people and every single damn one of them (even those you've never met before) expects a hello and goodbye as well as a 10 minute conversation at one point, It's no wonder he perfected the art of sneaking out. I want to do that sometimes too, but I happen to be really bad at sneaking in general (also my dad would kill me if I did that at a family gathering).

4

u/AttheCrux Jul 13 '15

As an Irish person,

I've never heard of an Irish Goodbye, what is it referring to?

11

u/bryan_sensei Jul 13 '15

15

u/AttheCrux Jul 13 '15

ah, I see.

Well, it was going to be drinking, theft or violence, I suppose this is the best outcome.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Not really, since it's 1 with implied 3.

2

u/AttheCrux Jul 14 '15

I was being magnanimous.

We're not supposed to be offended after all.

8

u/coaringrunt Jul 13 '15

Fun fact: in Germany we call this act 'doing a Polish'.

2

u/Impal0r Jul 14 '15

Or 'French goodbye', probably because a French guy once snuck out before a pipe organ battle with J.S. Bach.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I call it 'Pulling a Houdini'.

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Fucking christ.

AttheCrux may be taking it OK but I am finding it seriously offensive.

2

u/Slyj0ker Jul 14 '15

I'm more offended about you engaging in intercouse with our Lord and savior.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Ah, but I am Irish and you aren't Christ.

2

u/relevantusername- Jul 13 '15

Wait I'm Irish what's this about a goodbye?

1

u/greffedufois Jul 13 '15

Haha, once the first 'bye' happens you're in for another half hour of talking while saying bye at least.

1

u/Matti_Matti_Matti Jul 14 '15

Is that racist? Just wondering.

4.0k

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15 edited Jul 13 '15

[deleted]

228

u/captain__cabinets Jul 13 '15

Jesus it everywhere ! I was just in that thread

9

u/TerminusEst86 Jul 13 '15

It really, truly is.

11

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15 edited Jul 15 '20

[deleted]

12

u/demanthing Jul 14 '15

So all of them.

3

u/CapnBadass Jul 14 '15

Could you fax me an example of that?

2

u/Darkersun Jul 14 '15

Whoop there it is.

2

u/sir_mrej Jul 14 '15

I laughed out loud at that. That was like what? A few months ago? So recent in real time but "a long time ago" in internet time.

1

u/TwoFiveOnes Jul 14 '15

Together, we can make it so.

2

u/ErnestMorrow Jul 14 '15

Which thread was that?

1

u/Danni293 Jul 14 '15

I used it and got downvoted... Though I'm really glad to see that the whole subreddit has gone meta.

1.1k

u/Blithe17 Jul 13 '15

2meta4me

128

u/BrownShadow Jul 13 '15

Get in the car.

30

u/superniceguyOKAY Jul 13 '15

i hate that I know all of this... what a shitty monday

15

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

Get in the rape van.

FTFY

2

u/poo_is_hilarious Jul 13 '15

...crocodile!

Am I doing this right?

1

u/cardboard-dinghy Jul 14 '15

and don't touch nothing Sit in the car

23

u/ProjectionA51 Jul 13 '15

I missed something meta? Link?

33

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

[deleted]

3

u/_Kramerica_ Jul 13 '15

Too much reddit for me.

2

u/CSMastermind Jul 14 '15

I'm So Meta Even This Acronym

3

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15 edited Jul 13 '15

[deleted]

1

u/Space_Polan Jul 13 '15

3meta5me

4

u/7_EaZyE_7 Jul 13 '15

Me too thanks

-3

u/poptart2nd Jul 13 '15

not meta, just a reference. learn what words mean before you use them.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

I dunno why you're getting downvoted; I was under the impression that meta implies that the reference is from the same thread.

1

u/poptart2nd Jul 13 '15

i mean, even that's the wrong definition but it's closer than "a reference to literally anything else that exists on reddit." people just like using memetic buzzwords to sound cool, and hate when people call them out on their bullshit.

1

u/Blithe17 Jul 14 '15

If people understand the meaning and still find it funny, does it matter? I understand where you are coming from but is using the correct meaning of a word when making a joke important?

54

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15 edited Sep 24 '19

[deleted]

9

u/Solomaxwell6 Jul 13 '15

Yes, and that's even the song title!

6

u/JahlilOkaforGOAT Jul 13 '15

I've also only heard see

1

u/MrGMinor Jul 13 '15

Yeah cause that's what it is shawty.

0

u/wildcard1992 Jul 14 '15

It's a reference

10

u/TerminusEst86 Jul 13 '15 edited Jul 13 '15

ಠ_ಠ

5

u/ichegoya Jul 13 '15

I SAID CATCH YA LATER SUSAN, SO I'LL SEE YOU IN THE CAR.

7

u/Lemon30 Jul 13 '15

In a while, crocodile.

13

u/wwsxdrfv Jul 13 '15

/u/cole_56 is wrong. It is "see" and it comes from a song.

9

u/cole_56 Jul 13 '15

What the comment was referring to was another ask reddit where someone said their code phrase with their parents was "Catch you later, alligator."

3

u/wwsxdrfv Jul 13 '15

Oh, haha, I didn't realize he was referencing another thread

6

u/Valkyrie21 Jul 13 '15

Well that was fast.

6

u/iwtwe Jul 13 '15

lol i just came from that thread

3

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

Whats this from. what am i missing?

1

u/ChesterHiggenbothum Jul 14 '15

Different askreddit thread. The one about things that happened to you as a kid and didn't understand until you were older. One person was almost abducted, but the abducter didn't know the secret phrase: Catch ya later, alligator.

2

u/nill0c Jul 13 '15

After a while crocodile.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

As a kid I said see you later alligator to my dad and he replied with after while crocodile and it blew my 7 year old mind

5

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

catch ya later, alligator!

2

u/RocketCow Jul 13 '15

Alligator Masturbator seems to be a fitting codeword.

3

u/ajbpresidente Jul 13 '15

Meta as fuck

1

u/ITiswhatITisforthis Jul 13 '15

YAY McDonalds!!!!!!!!!

1

u/-Best_Name_Ever- Jul 13 '15

Now get in the rape van.

1

u/mivipa Jul 13 '15

That's how you get raped at McDonald's.

1

u/totallytopanga Jul 13 '15

this has been used so many times already now!

1

u/PhilTheNarwhal Jul 13 '15

Now get in the van.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

Why can't it be "see"

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

glitch in the matrix

1

u/wbotis Jul 13 '15

I understood that reference.

1

u/TheBlueSpartan Jul 13 '15

I thought the code word was always "peaches"?

1

u/Dead_Like_Me Jul 13 '15

In a while crocodile

1

u/T-two Jul 13 '15

Instructions unclear, got kidnapped.

1

u/Vamking12 Jul 13 '15

Meta erryday

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Only applies if at a children's birthday party and want to unofficially adopt a kid.

1

u/darthfadar Jul 14 '15

sick reference

1

u/Toa_Ignika Jul 14 '15

Is this a thing now?

1

u/raturinesoupgang Jul 14 '15

I have a feeling this is going to become universal code talk.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

See ya soon, Baboon.

1

u/deltawing921 Jul 14 '15

In a while, crocodile.

1

u/bahawkx2 Jul 14 '15

Insert Captain America "I understood that Reference!".JIF.MEME

1

u/Titobeans91 Jul 14 '15

I was wondering when id see this agin...

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I say see.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Beautiful!!

1

u/tb01110100 Jul 13 '15

0-meta in only 1.5 hours!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

This is going to be the new Paul Blart.

5

u/boomfunk_ Jul 13 '15

Our code phrase is "these pretzels are making me thirsty"

3

u/joelikesmusic Jul 13 '15

you need a handsignal / touch pattern code.

my wife and I use a pattern that we can tap on things or each other unnoticed.

the pattern is what I've heard called 'let's go rally clap' - i briefly searched for a link but couldn't find a good example. think of it like 1 2, 1,2,3 or tap tap pause tap tap tap.

i can casually place my arm around her and give a quick tap with my hand without anyone seeing or at least noticing. for us it's the " hey - i'm ready to go, either we exit or I'm uber-ing home' . This doesn't mean sprint out the door but just start wrapping it up.

if it's just me then "ghost" or irish goodbye works too.

1

u/BrewCrewKevin Jul 14 '15

Joe come on, you even like music.

In 4/4 time: 1 (rest) 3 (rest) 1 2 3 (rest)

My wife and i do 2 taps on the back, as if saying "let's go. " works wonders!

3

u/blamb211 Jul 13 '15

"Hippopotamus."

"We have to go..."

2

u/BurningPickle Jul 13 '15

"Bye, honey! See ya later!"

"Don't you dare leave me here with your mother!"

2

u/Aridzona Jul 13 '15

My wife and I developed a system where a different number of light, discreet taps had certain meanings.

two taps = let's go soon three taps = we need to leave NOW four taps = WTF is that person saying?! five taps = love ya

2

u/DCJ3 Jul 13 '15

Two taps on the back mean "I'd like to go soon." Works nicely.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

My wife and I have a secret code, where we'll look at each other and gently tug our earlobe. That means, "I'm ready to leave"

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

Your apartment flooded? But wait, you don't need two of you to check the damage.

1

u/Walter_Malone_Carrot Jul 13 '15

I'm just imagining you two blowing open the door SWAT team style.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

C4 is a good exit strategy.

1

u/thehumanear Jul 13 '15

the final moment of Mad Max: Fury Road is "the look"

1

u/Spicy_Poo Jul 13 '15

My wife and I do the ear pull from Garden State. Works well.

1

u/sassyfoot Jul 13 '15

People always called my husband and I "fast leavers." For us, "the look" always worked. But, now I have to go to a lot of school and social functions with my daughter; we have a code word that works every time.

1

u/talktochuckfinley Jul 13 '15

Wouldn't it be great if we all had a little personal device that could send and receive text based messages?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

this got a lot easier after texting became a normal thing

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

My wife and I have two hand signals: Discreetly tapping your watch, or twirling your index finger in the "wrap it up" motion. The trick is doing them without anyone noticing.

1

u/allothernamestaken Jul 13 '15

My buddy and I in college had a signal when we went to parties: we would look at each other from across the room, raise our fists up next to our heads, and pull them down like a fighter pilot ejecting, as a signal to "bail out."

1

u/samusmaster64 Jul 13 '15

My SO of the time and I had a not too uncommon, but specific enough word to signal to the other when we wanted to leave and gathering or event without being too blunt or rude to the hosts - "apricot"

1

u/GuyFaux37 Jul 13 '15

My friends and I have code words for everything. If we're at a party and want to leave early/feel uncomfortable, one of us just mentions how we left the ice cream on the counter and have to head back. Perfect solution for social anxiety.

1

u/Sigfan Jul 13 '15

Ours is "Omaha"

1

u/JMets6986 Jul 13 '15

Pats head repeatedly while in boring conversation

1

u/Fin2222 Jul 13 '15

I've always used the "I like your shirt" if I'm in conversation with a girlfriend as being code for "I want to leave". As in if we are in a group of people and she tells me she likes my shirt, I start saying my quick goodbyes to who I need to then we buck.

1

u/revrigel Jul 13 '15

My wife likes to do the Natalie Portman earlobe pull from Garden State.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

We have a secret word. Then we had to change it cause people caught on.

1

u/ChillFax Jul 13 '15

Our code word: Banana

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

"I have to return some videotapes"

1

u/cup-o-farts Jul 13 '15

Oh man one of my Aunts had the perfect get away signal. Look at uncle, pull on ear lobe and tap the nose. Ear Nose. Irnos

1

u/cosmotheassman Jul 14 '15

The trick is to start patting you head.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

I think it was a joke...

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

My family uses "pulling the chute" wherein you mimic pulling the rip cord on a parachute when you need to get out of a conversation.

1

u/flyingseel Jul 14 '15

A signal is better. Just pat yourself on the head.

1

u/snyto Jul 14 '15

The Queen puts her handbag on the floor.

1

u/Gutterlungz1 Jul 14 '15

I dated this girl for a short while and our code to leave was 3 knocks on something or three taps on your glass with your finger or whatwver. It could be a question and an answer so I could ask her if she was ready to bail if we were infront of people and I didn't want to be rude.

1

u/koryisma Jul 14 '15

I will just ask if he is tired. Gives him an out. Not awkward if others hear it.

1

u/gtfomylawnplease Jul 14 '15

TIL: Some people don't say "Wife, it's time to go I'm sick of these people" but instead have "code words" they say.

1

u/Run_bish_ruuun Jul 14 '15

Ours is "Blackhawk down"

1

u/ewige Jul 14 '15

Troll the respawn, Jeremy.

1

u/Phoenixster Jul 14 '15

Needing to take the dog for a walk is an excellent escape plan. Even works if you don't have a dog...

1

u/thebornotaku Jul 14 '15

My girlfriend and I have nailed the look. It's rad.

1

u/Shidell Jul 14 '15

You should adopt the "1-2-3" signal.

One means Yes, Two means No, Three means Go.

You can use it by patting on the back, squeezing a hand, knocking on a table, tapping a foot... once you start using it together, you can use it everywhere, and implement it so discretely that it's difficult to pick up on.

At Grandmas and she wants you to stay for dinner? "Hmm.." and knock twice on the side table you're resting your hand on, next to your drink. Wife quips, "We've got a roast in the crockpot at home, and speaking of which..."

1

u/thenichi Jul 14 '15
  1. Bring gun

1

u/mastremarx Jul 14 '15

Pull your ear lobe

1

u/moleratical Jul 14 '15

I just begin to pour a forty right where I'm standing and sing alopecia, my wife knows what this means.

1

u/Saliiim Jul 14 '15

"I dropped my curlywirly"

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '15

[deleted]

0

u/Cyanide72 Jul 13 '15

Already going meta

0

u/guceubcuesu Jul 13 '15

Our code is "see Ya later alligator"

0

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '15

Why not just say let's go.