What is a psychological trick you know to really fuck with somebody?

[u/ShrededTorsoWasTake]

[u/grandoro]

Offer someone gum but don't take a piece for yourself

[u/I_Call_Everyone_Kev → u/grandoro]

Visiting my in-laws last year and my FIL offers me a beer and then doesn't drink one himself. I just sat there, the only one with a beer at noon with the family. I had a good laugh about it.

[u/Plug_5 → u/I_Call_Everyone_Kev]

Our friends did something similar to me once! We were going to their place to hang out and they told my wife "hey, if Plug_5 wants a gin and tonic, maybe you all could bring some tonic water?" I've never had a g&t before in my life, but I figured ok, when in Rome...Anyway, I got there and they made me a g&t and then no one else had one! It was so awkward, to this day i don't know why they offered me that specific drink.

[u/behemothard → u/Plug_5]

Most likely they thought you did for some reason and knew they didn't have tonic. Orrrr, they wanted to get in your head and move there rent free with the power play. Guess you'll never know...

[u/Quirky-Fix9203 → u/I_Call_Everyone_Kev]

I apologize for laughing so hard at this but that was SO fucked up of him I can picture you awkwardly sipping knowing your being judged and your s.o. Looking at you like what are you doing

[u/XxTheScribblerxX → u/grandoro]

One of my coworkers has had me tripping over this (I brush my teeth viciously before work and don’teat until I get home again). Offers me gum constantly. Help.

Edit: Going to ask them next time we’re on shift together whether or not it smells. Also taking note that I should probably eat, for more reasons than breath might smell. Yes, I hydrate (free drinks where I work so long as it isn’t alcohol itself), and floss, and everything.

🫡 If nothing works then I’m retaliating with my own “May I offer you some mints in these trying times?” and I’ll watch them crumble too.

[u/greg_reddit → u/XxTheScribblerxX]

Tonsil stones perhaps

[u/XxTheScribblerxX → u/greg_reddit]

I checked 😭 Also just went to several appointments with dentists and doctors (for other reasons, but they were still in my face/mouth) and they said nothing too.

I’m suspecting they’re either intentionally trolling (they absolutely would, we do it to one another constantly lol) or they’re genuinely trying to be nice by sharing (this is also highly possible). But STILL.

[u/_J3551CA_ → u/XxTheScribblerxX]

Not eating for an extended period could also cause your breath to smell. May indicate some stomach issues and not just your dental hygiene. Are you drinking enough water throughout the day?

[u/Maruuji → u/_J3551CA_]

Can confirm. I used to occasionally get bad breath, no dental issues. Went to an ENT, my tonsils were normal, he just told me that not eating for a while was probably the cause. I was intermittent fasting in the past so it checks out

[u/wazza_the_rockdog → u/XxTheScribblerxX]

A lot of people (especially dentists and doctors, to remain professional) won't say anything about it unless it's a medical issue. You could ask someone you trust to tell you honestly if your breath does smell.

[u/WhiskeyDabber67 → u/grandoro]

My first job working at a grocery store, I was 15 and had a “manager” who was 18/19 years old. Me and a couple other guys worked inside restocking or mopping most of the time, they would assign a couple guys to cart duty which normally was a good gig, get outside and screw off. But for a few months of the year it was miserable, winters here get cold and mid December to mid March we would regularly have sub zero temps. Coldest I saw while there was -42 with windchill, but they still wanted those carts collected.

A friend’s dad put me onto this, although he told me about it using cigarettes. He said to always keep a pack of gum ( Marlboros in his example ) in your pocket. Offer them gum when you’re working together, grab a piece for yourself and offer them one when the packs out. After establishing your the “gum guy” right after the pre shift meeting when they assign jobs, anytime you got assigned one of the good jobs make sure to hang around for a minute and make small talk. Then right before you go to walk out and get to work, toss a piece of gum in and hand them one without saying anything.

Looking back now it kind of sounds like Pavlovian conditioning. But it definitely worked well for me.

[u/Nobody275]

Sending a text: “hey, are you joining this meeting?”

[u/iamamovieperson → u/Nobody275]

Nightmare

[u/Capable-Self-809 → u/iamamovieperson]

Whenever I get reminded of a meeting last minute and join too late, I'd get so nervous and make up something like "my link didn't work"

[u/ejrunpt → u/Nobody275]

I had just started a new job and had my first combined office/ regional meeting that day.

I pulled into the parking lot when my new boss texted me, “Hey! Where are you? We are all over at x location.” I panicked, thinking how could I get the time and location wrong????

Then he pulled into the parking lot laughing. That was more than 10 years ago and it is burned into my memory.

[u/Valendr0s → u/Nobody275]

That would get me

[u/kierans87]

Ask them "if you could change anything about yourself, what would it be ...apart from the obvious"

[u/the-watch-dog → u/kierans87]

This is a wonderful, awful idea.

[u/GaryWestSide → u/kierans87]

What do you say when they ask what's the obvious?

[u/Doulikewaffls → u/GaryWestSide]

Just say “oh…” and refuse to discuss further.

[u/MongooseGef → u/Doulikewaffls]

Suck in your breath a bit, then say, “nevermind”

[u/oxymoronisanoxymoron → u/MongooseGef]

Suck in your breath a bit

Call that the 'teeth dryer'. It's very effective when done right.

[u/StreetlampEsq → u/GaryWestSide]

"You know... Ehnevermind"

If they keep asking, say you were thinking of someone else's medical thing.

It's unconvincing, but they can't ask more about it cause that's private stuff.

[u/sodapopulus → u/GaryWestSide]

Make a subtle surprised face, brief silence and say oh, nothing

[u/BologniousMonk → u/GaryWestSide]

“I’d rather not say”

[u/rush87y → u/GaryWestSide]

"Well, you know... I mean... I'm assuming... Since the incident"

 "What? What incident?

" Ahh... They said you'd probably deny it " (Alternatively" They said you probably wouldn't remember it")

[u/ahuli12 → u/GaryWestSide]

"Oh you don't know?" And walk away.

[u/codered8-24 → u/kierans87]

This is kinda evil not gonna lie

[u/Atoozee]

Looking/peeking over someone’s shoulder even though there’s nothing there.

[u/SugarHooves → u/Atoozee]

I had to talk to the receptionist at my new middle school. I noticed her looking in the direction behind me so I turned to see what she was looking at. Nothing there. I look back at her, confused, then noticed one eye was looking right at me.

She had a glass eye.

[u/kshep9 → u/SugarHooves]

I’m really bad at looking at people with a lazy eye. For some reason I often can’t stop looking at the lazy eye instead of holding eye contact. It’s a problem.

[u/bkh950 → u/kshep9]

Try looking in between their eyebrows, just make sure you don’t stare… Apparently I freak out my manager. Whenever they want to discipline us (Fortune 500 corporation, par for the course to get ridiculous disciplinary actions), I make sure to look him dead in the eyes, so he knows I’m not intimidated by him or their bullshit. Well, I guess I was staring too hard or something because he told my shop steward “that guy freaks me out, he’s a silent killer.” Since then, I’ve noticed he won’t really hold eye contact with me.😂 
So yeah, look between the eyebrows but make sure you don’t stare, so they don’t think you might kill them or something. 
Also, I have an in-law with a glass eye, I use this same tactic because it’s very hard to not look directly at the one glass eye.

[u/thamylkmanx]

"Fuck what they say about you, I think you're alright."

[u/tipsyfly → u/thamylkmanx]

lol on an episode of Mad Men we watched the other night someone said something along the lines of “this might not be a popular opinion around here, but I like you” (said to someone who was just a standard colleague/member of the team). It was viciously back handed and I loved it.

[u/Sufficient-Art-6010 → u/thamylkmanx]

I had a coworker who always said this lol

[u/MGPS]

This is a bit of a “niche” one but if you ever talk about cocaine, Watch who subconsciously makes a sniffing sound. An old friend taught me this one and it totally works and is hilarious.

[u/Raiseyourspoonforwar → u/MGPS]

Some will instinctively look for one of their friends, others will itch their nose. As an ex-addict, it's always fun to watch others give themselves away

[u/PicaDiet → u/Raiseyourspoonforwar]

As a current addict it's even better when someone gives some away.

[u/rotating_fan → u/MGPS]

I swear when I go to outdoor concerts people probably think I’m on drugs. I have really bad allergies so I’m constantly rubbing my nose when I’m outside. Being at a concert, drugs are common, but I don’t want to seem like a coke head 😭

[u/inkseep1]

If you are talking with someone and you just hand them some random object, they will automatically take it.

[u/killer-bunny-258 → u/inkseep1]

Fun fact: this is a sales technique! If you find yourself in a situation where someone is trying to sell you something and they try to get you to hold the item, they are trying to psychologically manipulate you into buying it.

I worked in sales years ago and this was taught to us specifically.

[u/SuperFLEB → u/killer-bunny-258]

At that point, though, why do I need to buy it? I've already got it. I can just walk away.

[u/PicaDiet → u/SuperFLEB]

Or turn it over in your hands checking out all sides of it and looking at it closely. Then after examining it hand it back with a disappointed look on your face while not saying anything

[u/Acceptable_Most_510 → u/killer-bunny-258]

Huh. Maybe that's why the Bath and Body Works staff would demonstrate the lotions, soaps, body scrubs/washes, and oils on your own hands so frequently..

[u/MsTerious1 → u/killer-bunny-258]

I don't think this would work for real estate salespeople.

[u/SneakyKillz → u/inkseep1]

Yes! My favourite.

The amount of times people just subconciously take random objects I handed to them is amazing. The more random the object the funnier it is. Someone looking confused at the cutting board in their hands after I just handed it to them makes me so happy.

[u/JasonGD1982 → u/inkseep1]

This is kinda of like a challenge on "impractical jokers". They had random shit and asked people in a grocery store to hold it and then they would walk off.

[u/Nickster_B]

I sometimes say mid conversation "its like i always say" then dont say anything.

[u/weberster → u/Nickster_B]

My coworker does this but he says it after a very specific to that conversation statement, like 

"It's like I always say, I'd rather have a survey than a comforter. I always say that."

He does it all the time and it's always funny. 

[u/ChewySlinky → u/weberster]

“And I’ve always said that” is one of my favorite bits

[u/imperfek → u/Nickster_B]

I like to do this but the opposite.

Say a really long phrase that I never say or you imagine anyone saying in a casual conversation. It can't be a good or meaningful phrase too.

I like to just randomly insert an ad read mid sentence that has nothing to do with what I was talking about.

[u/xain1112 → u/imperfek]

I like to just randomly insert an ad read mid sentence that has nothing to do with what I was talking about

You mean like "Sorry to hear about your divorce. This conversation is brought to you by Snickers. That sucks, man."?

[u/Princess_Slagathor → u/xain1112]

"Sorry to hear about your divorce. This conversation is brought to you by Snickers. You're not you when you're hungry. That sucks, man."?

Gotta have the slogan.

[u/sunbearimon]

Say “no pun intended” after statements with no pun in them

[u/Atharaphelun → u/sunbearimon]

Or add "if you'll pardon the pun" occasionally at the end of a sentence.

[u/beatisagg → u/Atharaphelun]

Feel like people would just think you're unaware of what a pun actually is

[u/Languid_Spider → u/beatisagg]

They were the puns we made along the way?

[u/chillaban → u/sunbearimon]

Similarly, interjecting ", if you will, " or "I guess you could call it" before a completely mundane comment results in the strangest mix of reactions. I was a consultant giving traveling lectures and it was one of the ways I could quickly evaluate who was actually following vs who was just nodding and not really absorbing the information.

[u/esfraritagrivrit → u/sunbearimon]

https://xkcd.com/559/

[u/tawnyfritz]

Ask them "How do you feel when you say that?" when they say something hateful or shitty.

[u/FtBoi → u/tawnyfritz]

I always go with "Crazy that you say that out loud."

[u/mikestro36 → u/tawnyfritz]

If they reply with a smart ass "I feel great" then just tell them "That explains a lot about you".

[u/xKYLERxx → u/tawnyfritz]

Or "what an odd thing to say"

[u/MaximusHackimus]

Once a week turn down someone's mouse sensitivity by one notch until eventually it's the slowest

[u/dumb_idiot_the_3rd → u/MaximusHackimus]

This is devious

[u/jim_cap → u/MaximusHackimus]

I once edited a co-worker's .bash file so that every time they entered a specific common command, it would sleep for a couple of minutes, then say the word "potato". Took him months to work out the connection.

[u/breakonthru_ → u/MaximusHackimus]

Mouse-speeding. Haha. This is the literal origin of gaslighting (turning down a gas lamp gradually so someone thought they were going blind).

[u/x_lashes]

When you get in the elevator with other people don't turn around to face the doors.

[u/Tthelaundryman → u/x_lashes]

My friend and I did elevator experiments in college. We had both commented on how it’s odd how universally accepted elevator protocol is and no one needs to tell you the rules. Don’t talk once the door is closed. Face the door. Don’t fart. 

We decided to see if we could carry on an innocent conversation while people got in and it was extremely difficult to keep talking as we could feel the tension rise. Then we tried making small talk with strangers when they got on. Nope. Then just for fun we got on and facing the wrong way. That did make some people laugh but mostly just annoyed with our shenanigans 

[u/doctor_x → u/Tthelaundryman]

I knew a dude who’d face everyone, introduce himself as their elevator comedian and tell terrible jokes.

[u/Tthelaundryman → u/doctor_x]

Does he think they’re great jokes or are they intentionally terrible? That’s a huge piece of context here haha

[u/doctor_x → u/Tthelaundryman]

They were deliberately bad, but they’d get a laugh. He’d do this late at night, so folks were pretty mellow.

[u/HeyGayHay → u/doctor_x]

You can't tease us with bad jokes that got a laugh and not tell us atleast one of them :(

[u/King_Asmodeus_2125 → u/HeyGayHay]

Two nuns were riding their bicycles down a cobblestone path towards church.

One nuns says, "I've never come this way before."

The other replies, "It must be the cobblestones!"

[u/originaltec → u/x_lashes]

I like to do that and ask “you are probably wondering why I called this meeting “.

[u/SeeMarkFly → u/originaltec]

"I'd like a moment of silence to honor all those who have died in elevator accidents."

This finds the borderline claustrophobics.

[u/MrWaffles42]

When someone says something dumb and I don't want to debate them, I just say "yeah, I can see how someone like you would think that" and change the subject. Their insecurities fill in the blanks.

[u/GoatBotherer → u/MrWaffles42]

I quite like "I would agree with you but then we'd both be wrong"

[u/Top-Measurement-2044]

I've found that simply smiling at someone can really change the vibe of a conversation. It's amazing how a little positivity can make all the difference.

[u/ButterflyNo8336 → u/Top-Measurement-2044]

People respond to tone and facial cues to an amazing extent. People seriously do respond well to people that look like they’re open and feeling well. And other people (small minority) actually will dislike to see outward positive emotion, and paint it anyway they please to justify their reaction to outward positivity.

[u/mr_birkenblatt → u/ButterflyNo8336]

That's why online discussions tend to be more aggressive and emotional

[u/Nodebunny → u/mr_birkenblatt]

That's why millennials put lol after every piece of text lol

[u/Acceptable_Most_510 → u/Nodebunny]

Not my emotional support lol, lol.

[u/13thmurder]

Ask if they want to hear a knock knock joke.

If they say yes, ask them to start you off.

They'll say "knock knock"

You say "who's there?"

They didn't plan this far ahead.

[u/Deep-Reputation545]

If a tennis opponent is annoying me, I'll ask if they inhale or exhale as they go to serve. No one knows what they do and it gets them thinking about it

[u/TamLux → u/Deep-Reputation545]

Like in Tintin when Allan asks if Captain Haddock sleeps with his beard under or over his blanket

[u/Hairymeatbat]

I purposely misspell one word in every sentence I write.

[u/shaqballs → u/Hairymeatbat]

Why wood you do that

[u/alexgodden → u/Hairymeatbat]

I have read this sentence so many times trying to find the word that is misspelled. I hate you, you goddamn genius.

[u/The_F_B_I → u/Hairymeatbat]

Has anyone noticed the trend of content creators deliberately mispronouncing a common word as a way to drive engagement, especally in shorts?

[u/Rare_Art5063 → u/The_F_B_I]

Instant block for me, tbh. They care more about gimmicks to get views than the actual content. Even in shorts there's lots of good quality content, so might as well skip the drivel.

[u/Shrekeyes → u/Hairymeatbat]

man i cant believe you gaslit me into believing that the correct way to write "misspell" is mispell

[u/brainpassword]

The "gray rock" method: remain completely neutral and unemotional, driving them crazy with indifference.

[u/Quirky-Fix9203 → u/brainpassword]

For some reason doing this comes naturally to me, the minute someone starts freaking out or gets pissed and yelling at me my instant reaction is to show no emotion and then talk to them like a teacher would a toddler needless to say I’ve pissed a lot of people off more then they already where

[u/prestonpiggy → u/Quirky-Fix9203]

I do the same sometimes, only problem is some people are persistent and take it as a "win" if you keep your face. So rather than being told they are flat out insane I need to listen their shit 30 minutes until they tire out like toddlers do.

[u/MaximusZacharias → u/Quirky-Fix9203]

That’s like when my mom is driving and people get pissed off at her and flip her off, she just blows them a kiss. It makes them sooo mad.

[u/ShrededTorsoWasTake → u/brainpassword]

When do you this? On a debate I guess

[u/verminiusrex → u/ShrededTorsoWasTake]

I did this to deal with bullies in high school. Without a reaction there was no satisfaction to taunting me, after awhile the blankness unnerved them.

[u/elconquistador1985 → u/verminiusrex]

I had a guy follow me after class in college once to tell me he was going to kick my ass.

I just turned my back to him and walked away.

[u/verminiusrex → u/elconquistador1985]

I had to explain to a college freshman that making threats like that doesn't fly anymore. In high school you get sent to the principals office, in college you get expelled and possibly charged.

In another case I got to fill out a police report as a witness to a similar event. Don't threaten someone to begin with, but especially don't do it in front of multiple members of the residence hall staff. You get in trouble and I have to do paperwork.

[u/Vandalicious → u/ShrededTorsoWasTake]

It’s recommended as a strategy for dealing with narcissists.

[u/StrappinYoungZiltoid → u/Vandalicious]

It's also a strategy sometimes used by narcissists to discard their lovebombing victims, unfortunately. Throw mountains of affection on top of them and then act as if you never said a word of it and deny any accountability by completely stonewalling them

[u/I_love_pillows → u/ShrededTorsoWasTake]

When people take any bit of information you give them to put you down or attack you, you just start to provide zero information zero context to them. Sometimes it saves your mental health and morale.

[u/gogogadgetdumbass → u/ShrededTorsoWasTake]

I used to do it when I worked retail/fast food. Nothing takes the wind out of an unjustified asshole like a non reaction.

[u/thirdeyegoogly → u/brainpassword]

I did this to my PhD psychologist dad once in my 20s when we were arguing. I let him say his piece while I calmly listened, then said, "Are you done?" His annoyance was priceless. 🤣

[u/esc8pe8rtist → u/thirdeyegoogly]

Sounds like my story - my dad never let me raise my voice at him, if I did the argument was over and he won until I calmed down. Well around the last time I argued with him in my 30s, he was flipping out while I was staying calm cool and collected and out of nowhere it hit me to say “I think we need to stop until you calm down” the look on his face was priceless

[u/NarwhalEmergency9391 → u/esc8pe8rtist]

"you're really emotional"

[u/QkweenBee → u/brainpassword]

Yes, yes and yes! I'm doing this with a person that's currently intentionally trying to get under my skin. Works wonders and feels so good knowing they keep trying but keep failing. Total non reaction. Total ignoring the little things they do to get a rise. And did I mention the peace that comes with refusing to participate in silly games? Let them play alone.

[u/pookie74 → u/brainpassword]

I did this with my mother. I couldn't believe at the time how much a reaction would have satisfied her. My non response would throw her into toddler type tantrums. 

[u/complexity]

I'm going to try all of these in one social situation and someone is probably going to call the cops.

[u/Alternative-Wash8018 → u/complexity]

I’m gonna try it with the cops

[u/igillyg → u/complexity]

I'm over here taking copious notes

[u/AVeryPlumPlum]

Taken from 30 Rock, but say "Nice to meet you" to someone you've clearly already met.

[u/Sasha_Forbidden_Red]

Silence. Its a very effective interview technique, because as humans we are conditioned to break silences in conversations

[u/KungFu-omega-warrior]

Start a sentence then stop midway and say, “Never mind”

[u/tftookmyname → u/KungFu-omega-warrior]

I do this but not on purpose because I get halfway through what I was saying before realizing I sound like an idiot and just stop.

[u/LivingInformal4446 → u/tftookmyname]

Half way through the sentence just say "fuck, I'm boring myself" and then stop talking and hang your head in shame

[u/wit21wit]

Look at someones forehead a couple of times in a really short time when they’re talking to you!

[u/raen_69er → u/wit21wit]

My girl used to do this when we were talking and let me just say it's a whole different feeling when you're on the receiving end

[u/Jor1509426 → u/wit21wit]

Or their ear!

Best is if you can get a number of attendees in a lecture to all look at the presenters SAME ear… they will keep moving that direction to try to center focus and you can move them to the edge of the speaking platform/stage.

[u/platomaker]

Ok here’s a good one, so let’s say you’re talking to someone who’s guarded. They clam up and don’t say much or respond minimally.

Humans want to be understood. They also want to avoid being misunderstood. So, when someone gives a shallow answer, you repeat back that last word. They will elaborate to clear up confusion.

[u/RamblesToIncoherency → u/platomaker]

Confusion?

[u/EthanRush → u/platomaker]

...Metal Gear?

[u/JahRoddenberry]

While driving at night with a buddy of mine, another car tailgated us on a basically empty road, swerved around us only to brake check us needlessly. Didn't even get the sense this was aggressive driving, just shitty driving. At the next red light we pull up next to them, and it's two young women. I was content to give dirty looks and the what the fuck look, but my friend rolls down his window, leans over and yells "your friend is fucking ugly." I know, immature, but the genius was immediately obvious to me. They both immediately hated us and reacted thinking "how dare they/what assholes" etc. But now they're both thinking who was he talking about. Never got to see the reaction but all it would take is one of them saying to the other "I can't believe he said that about you" or something to that effect and boom the match of hatred is lit betwixt the two. Again, I'm not sure it was even effective, but the thrust of the attack seemed clever at the time.

[u/timoni → u/JahRoddenberry]

Wowza

[u/peachyfuzzle]

If you want to get something out of someone, let them do most of the talking while asking mostly questions, and only respond to the parts they talk about that get you to your goal. You'll still be engaged in the conversation, but people tend to forget about most of what they say if one thing becomes the final point of the conversation. Basically, lead the other person from behind. The trick is subtlety.

[u/Vegetable-Poet6281 → u/peachyfuzzle]

I do a similar thing with a coworker. I only respond to the bits I agree with or that have some validity. The rest lands in dead air. It tends to make them reflect without having to engage them on certain subjects. Useful when someone is baiting you or if their views directly conflict with your own. Silence is deafening.

[u/phantasybm]

My friend will randomly say things that sound racist but really aren’t.

Something like “Man I’m hungry. I feel like a Cuban who just changed his toilet paper roll.”

“Man I’m thirsty. I feel like a Canadian who just bought some new cologne”.

I know him well enough to know he is just saying random crap… but when people first meet him it’s hilarious to watch their expressions. Some people get offended for whatever random country he chose and they really can’t express why.

[u/Disenthralling → u/phantasybm]

Idk why but this really made me laugh lol

[u/KataclysmicKat → u/phantasybm]

Lmao this made me laugh out loud because I'm a cuban who just changed my toilet paper roll.

[u/messytripledheaded]

When someone insults you, reply with a very curious face “are you ok” lmao I heard about this one recently

[u/NotoriousREV → u/messytripledheaded]

I do a concerned look and say “Is everything OK at home?”

[u/RDragoo1985]

In the middle of a conversation just throw in a random “You know what they say” with no follow up.

[u/budlight2k]

I used to leave the building everyday of the week and say "Have a good weekend everyone" that used to drive people mad

[u/InfiniteMonkeySage]

This one requires a little explanation. But stay with me, it's worth it.

If you work in a place where there are those dry erase type white boards, you can use them to mess with one of your co-worker's heads.

First, write like 2 random words and underline them. Then make a list under those words of your co-worker's name and the 3 or 4 other people that you know they would least like to be associated with. Then (and this part is important) erase the words on top ... just enough that they are impossible to read.

Eventually, your co-worker will find the list and they will drive themselves crazy trying to figure out what the purpose of the list was, who wrote it, and why their name was on it.

[u/Watercraftsman → u/InfiniteMonkeySage]

That reminded me of a weird joke my friend and I made up in middle school. 1) Get a briefcase and fill it up with printed out pictures of a friend. 2) Walk by that friend, and accidentally trip and spill the briefcase contents on the floor in front of them 3) Act weird while you scramble to pick up all the pictures of them 4) Profit???

[u/ChillPill_ → u/InfiniteMonkeySage]

Get out of here Robert California

[u/colo_kelly → u/ChillPill_]

You don’t even know my real name. I’m the f**king Lizard King.

[u/NocturnalBatBrain]

Angry eyebrows no matter the subject lol

[u/crani0 → u/NocturnalBatBrain]

Kitties >:|

[u/Whatisgoingon3631]

I like to start a sentence with “l’m not racist, but “ and then say something completely bland and not racist at all. As an old white guy, most people are expecting me to say something racist.

[u/Dick_Sewage → u/Whatisgoingon3631]

I do this too. I’m not a racist or anything, but I really like cheese.

[u/lgndk11r → u/Whatisgoingon3631]

I'm not a racist, but I can get hungry when I don't eat for hours.

[u/Suitable-Lake-2550 → u/Whatisgoingon3631]

I’m not a cannibal, but…

[u/LivingInformal4446 → u/Whatisgoingon3631]

"I dont want to sound racist or anything like that, but the ocean looks beautiful with the sunset this evening."

[u/StolenIP]

Start sniffing in the middle of their statement. Don't mention anything. Just look around and keep sniffing. It's the most unnerving thing. You can do it to ANYONE and you'll immediately mess with them.

[u/Additional-Onion1493 → u/StolenIP]

Nah, you gotta stare at them while you sniff

[u/HumpieDouglas]

I worked with a guy that I absolutely could not stand. He wasn't even in our department but would spend his day walking by our area and reporting to our boss on everything we were doing or not doing. He spent more time doing that than whatever it was he was actually supposed to be doing.

I got so tired of him that I decided to out petty his pettiness by being sarcastically nice to him when other people weren't around. My tone was always so condescending and passive aggressive. He eventually started telling people how nasty and unprofessional I was. When other people were around though, I treated him like everyone else. Everyone started thinking there was something wrong with him. He even told HR and my boss that I was giving him menacing glances during a meeting, which I was but no one could prove it. He made himself look bad each time he said something because no one else ever saw anything or noticed any bad behavior on my part.

I did this shit for almost a year because it was so much fun and it drove him crazy. People would always ask me what his problem with me was and I'd always say I didn't know.

[u/bearbarebere → u/HumpieDouglas]

He even told HR and my boss that I was giving him menacing glances during a meeting, which I was but no one could prove it

Oh my god this is genius and diabolical

[u/wolf_man007 → u/HumpieDouglas]

You may be a piece of shit, but that's hilarious.

[u/verminiusrex]

One boss I had would never answer you immediately, he'd always take a moment to think about what he was going to say like there is no way he's going to be rushed into any decision. it made him appear very organized and sure of himself.

Had another boss that you'd knock on his glass door, and he'd always wait a moment before waving you in even when he wasn't doing anything. This made him look more like a dick, but he kinda was.

[u/matzoh_ball → u/verminiusrex]

If it looks like a dick and tastes like a dick, it’s probably a dick

[u/road22]

When somebody is talking to you and keeps rambling on:

Take your pointing finger and start rubbing your chin area as if you had left a chocolate stain. Look at the rambling talker in the eye when doing this as if you want to tell them "hey you got something on your face, but do not utter a word, just keep listening.

The trick is to hold your head high, face above them not downward.

Even lick your finger to moisten to rub / clean your chin as well.

Just keep rubbing as if your cleaning and very soon the person who will not shup up will start rubbing their chin as well.

[u/Own-Donkey-6020]

Aska a family member/roommate "Have you seen our toothbrush?"

[u/[deleted]]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/soulself → u/[deleted]]

You seem upset.

[u/Waste_Mango5587 → u/soulself]

you seem to be seeming

[u/soulself → u/Waste_Mango5587]

It seems so

[u/redleader8181]

It’s nothing crazy, I discovered it myself. If you ever have something in your hands and you want to get rid of it, but not throw it away. Just look like your trying to do something in a hurry, say “oh shit” and go for one of your pockets while you hand the thing you want someone to take(empty soda can, or trash or whatever, and hand it to them. They’ll usually just take it because we all have this tendency to want to help someone who is right in front of us and seems like he needs to do something urgently.

I’ve done this to friends and my siblings. They will still sometimes fall for it, but not like when I first started it. Those were the days, Oh boy the Wild West of waste disposal.

[u/FreeContest8919]

When you're talking to someone who's being a prick tell them they have something stuck in their teeth... "nope, it's still there" "no, still there" shuts them down fast af

[u/Chariovilts → u/FreeContest8919]

Someone did this to the dude I disliked. He was being overbearing in the conversation and he just casually commented "you look pale dude". It was chilling to see how the disliked guy shut down and consciously wiped his lips. 

Effective as fuck! 

[u/chefboyarde30]

I be happy and smile around miserable fucks. It really pisses them off.

[u/sigint74 → u/chefboyarde30]

As a miserable gas station worker I can confirm this.

[u/llcucf80]

Nod your head when asking someone for something or suggesting something. The combination of nodding while talking makes them much more agreeable to what you're saying or asking

[u/spinky420 → u/llcucf80]

"You will give me $10,000" nods

[u/YuggaYobYob]

When someone gives you a direct criticism, reply with “what are you implying?”

[u/fibericon → u/YuggaYobYob]

That only works if the person is a moron, because the obvious response is, "I think I stated my thoughts pretty directly. What part of that did you not understand?"

[u/bearbarebere → u/fibericon]

Yeah it's one of those things that only seems like it works to redditors. like "if i wanted to kill myself i'd climb up to your ego and jump to your iq" like yeah... ok bro... lmao

[u/HenryNeves]

“I mean, personally I don’t have a problem with you being here” and walk away

[u/Miserable-Ruin1546]

Okay, so this is more of a harmless one, but it can totally mess with someone in a playful way. If you’re talking to someone and you subtly start mirroring their body language like crossing your arms when they do or leaning in when they do it creates this weird sense of connection without them realizing it. But then, if you suddenly stop and do something completely opposite, like slouching when they’re sitting upright, it can make them feel slightly off-balance or confused without knowing why. It’s subtle, but it definitely throws them off their rhythm in the moment. 🤷‍♀️

[u/ZedATX]

When you are having a conversation with someone about, say, turtles, change the subject by saying "speaking of turtles..." then something completely different, like "did you hear Bob and Emily are back together?" It will confuse the crap out of them!

[u/Ubiquitous_Cacophony → u/ZedATX]

I enjoy saying, "Speaking of changing topics" and then just do it.

[u/CanuckSalaryman]

Just remind them that they are breathing manually. 

[u/Jaggs0 → u/CanuckSalaryman]

this is the one i use to annoy people, probably is it's a double edged sword cause I'll start doing it too. 

[u/mistercolebert → u/CanuckSalaryman]

You asshole, that works online too…

[u/igillyg → u/CanuckSalaryman]

Or kinks are hereditary

[u/HeartonSleeve1989]

I'm a simple man, I deep throat popsicles while making eye contact to fuck with people.

[u/Miserable_Smoke_6719]

When someone is telling a story, midway through smile and laugh to yourself and shake your head. When they say “what?” Say “oh nothing.”

[u/nnutcase]

Mid-conversation, my brother used to quickly pause, lean in, look intensely at something on my face, and then either say absolutely nothing, or “never mind” and insist that it’s “nothing” if I pressed. This happened a lot, and to this day I don’t know if my make up was bad, or if he was just fucking with my head. I am envious of his genius if it’s the latter, so I share it with you.

[u/Boopenheimerthethird]

When someone is being an asshole, call them by a name close to theirs but not quite it. If they keep being an asshole call them by a different different name.

[u/TheWildYackie]

Offer someone a piece of gum, no matter their answer don’t take one yourself. Bonus points if you give them a side eye or ask “you sure?” when they say no.

[u/budlight2k]

Ask if their hair is supposed to look like that?

[u/2DudesInACoat]

I love looking behind people and widening my eyes a bit. That or if someone stands next to me at a urinal i'd say "Hey man, love your watch"

[u/DNSGeek]

Ask someone what time it is immediately after they look at their watch. They’ll have no idea and will need to look at their watch again.

[u/Dirtdancefire]

When you are in a fierce argument, suddenly agree that they are totally right. Completely ’collapse’ your anger and argument. Suddenly they are swinging in space. They have nothing to push against and start sputtering, still wanting to argue.

[u/igillyg]

Remaining silent will get people to confess a lot of things. It's actually used as an interrogation technique

[u/Traditional_Chef_977]

When you talk to someone maintain full eye contact even if and when they try to look away.

[u/ShrededTorsoWasTake → u/Traditional_Chef_977]

Or instead of maintaining eye contact, just look at their forehead. Should drive people crazy 😂😂

[u/1Monkey1Machine → u/ShrededTorsoWasTake]

"Meet my eyeline, Jim. "

[u/smith147896325]

Stare at their teeth when you talk to them

[u/Molkwi]

I recently made a friend almost have an existential crisis because I told him that, if when you die you see your life flash before your eyes, you relive through all of the events. What if you're already dead, and just seeing it all again?

[u/Syzygy-ing]

An old boss of mine would do this thing that annoyed the hell out of me. After finishing the conversation I’d walk away, he’d call my name, I’d turn and say ‘yes, and he’d ask ‘how far would you have gotten if I didn’t call you back’ Not every time so it would always catch me off guard

[u/EuropaCitizen]

Anytime they say something repeat the last word they said as a question.

[u/Threndsa]

One of my favorite things to do when I'm running tabletop games is to have players roll perception/awareness etc then jot down a quick note and keep going. A few of those phantom rolls and you've got yourself a paranoid group of players in short order.

[u/Sparkling_Wishes]

I worked with a friend who kept a twelve pack of Mountain Dew under his desk. For a while I’d sneak extra cans back into the box, not a lot and just enough that he was sure he drank more than the box would hold.

[u/commodorebuns]

As a therapist……I’m psychoanalyzing everyone’s answers ….👀

[u/LivingInformal4446 → u/commodorebuns]

This is a gold mine.

[u/HovercraftAgitated99]

Say to someone "now I understand why they talk about you" and then walk away without elaborating. Not only will they be wondering what is said about them, but by whom.

[u/storyville2004]

A solid eye stare with 3 seconds of silence before answering a question will terrify people.