Yeah. I get thoughts but tell myself that’s where my procrastination is a literal lifesaver. When you read the stats on suicide, you find out most of it isn’t like the famous cases where they leave a note and plan out everything days in advance. Terrifyingly often it’s a heat of the moment thing and they use booze to get the “courage” (override their self-preservation reflex) to do it.
Depending on the “thoughts” you have you might want to look into exploring OCD with a psych.
I always thought it was normal. I don’t have a “voice in my head” I think and imagine things as images.
And all my life I would have these images in my head - washing the dishes while seeing blood gushing from my throat or a gun firing or or just horrible evil shit all the time.
I felt a pull toward the void and saw my death probably 10 times a day. If not death, just massacre.
Lots of nightmares.
Anyways - turns out it was OCD. “Obsessive Compulsive Suicidal Ideation”
My daughter had conversations talking about wanting to for months prior to going through, and then finally went through with it and even had texts send to her friends and left me a letter. she actually had 3 different letters she tried to write out. she seemed to legitimately be planning it for about a month from what i could gather from her phone.
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u/SameAsThePassword 1d ago
Yeah. I get thoughts but tell myself that’s where my procrastination is a literal lifesaver. When you read the stats on suicide, you find out most of it isn’t like the famous cases where they leave a note and plan out everything days in advance. Terrifyingly often it’s a heat of the moment thing and they use booze to get the “courage” (override their self-preservation reflex) to do it.